Is Funeral Photography Right for YOur Family?

Some families want the funeral photographed. Others do not. Neither is the wrong choice.

This page looks at both sides — why people book a funeral photographer, why some decide against it, and how to tell which side you are on so you can make an informed decision that is best for you and your family. If you already know you want it, then you can find out more about costs and how to book here: Funeral Photography. For the practical detail of the day, use the Funeral Photography Guide.

Why Families Want Funeral Photography

Grief makes the funeral hard to see while you are standing in it. You notice the person in front of you, or the next hymn, and miss the rest. Families book photography because they want that day kept — not as a performance, as a record they can come back to when they are ready.

That matters more when the gathering will not happen again in the same way. People travel. Old friends appear. A church is full that will never be full like that for that person again. The photographs hold who came, how the room felt, what the flowers looked like, and the smaller things that disappear as soon as the day is over.

• You know you will not take the service in at the time

• Relatives could not travel and will want to see the day

• The funeral is for a baby, a child or someone young

• It is a celebration of a long life and you want that atmosphere kept

• You would rather a professional do it than leave it to freinds and phones

• You may not look at the pictures for months, and that is fine

I have had families get in touch years later to say they had only just opened the gallery, and that having the photographs mattered more than they expected.

Why some Families Do Not Want Funeral Photography

Some families feel a funeral should not be recorded at all. That can come from the person who died, from someone close, or from a sense that a camera would change the room. If that is the feeling in the immediate family, it is a good reason not to book.

I have quoted families who wanted photography, talked the day through, and then heard back after they sat down with everyone else where one or two people were not comfortable with the idea, so they decided not to go ahead. That is fine. It is a family decision. The booking should only go forward when the people closest to it are agreed.

• The funeral feels private and they do not want it recorded

• Someone close does not want to be in pictures

• Existing photos are enough for a tribute

• The immediate family are not agreed

Do not book a photographer to please someone outside the family.

When It Is Usually Worth Booking

It is usually worth it when you want the day’s details captured by a professional. The photographer’s job is to use their experience to read the service and alter their approach accordingly — a celebration of life is not photographed in the same way as a baby funeral, a Caribbean service or a committal at a natural burial ground.

Families who book tend to want more than “some pictures of the funeral”. They want a record of who came, how the room felt, and the details they will not hold onto while they are in it.

• You want a full record of the day, even if you do not look at it for a long time

• You want to remember the details — the coffin, the flowers, the venue, the cars, and who was there

• You want a record of the close connections between family and friends

• The funeral includes faith or cultural rituals you want kept

• It is a celebration of a long life, and you want that atmosphere as well as the service

• The funeral is for a baby, a child or someone young, including for siblings later

• You want photographs for an album, an anniversary, or a tribute slideshow

When It Usually Is Not

It is usually not worth it when the people closest to the person who died do not want a photographer there. Existing pictures can still make a tribute. Nothing important is lost by waiting, or by deciding no.

• The immediate family do not want it

• You only feel you “should”

• You would rather have a slideshow from photographs you already have

An Example — Clandon Woods Burial Ground, Surrey

One of the funerals I photographed was at a burial Ground in Surrey, for a young man who had taken his life. It was a very sad day, and also one of the most beautiful funerals I have photographed.

The closest family buried him first, before anyone else arrived. He was laid in a meadow, with only a handful of close relatives there. After that they went back to the pavilion for a full service. When it ended, a saxophonist led everyone back to the grave, which had already been filled by the gravediggers. Family and friends all laid flowers and said their goodbyes. Then the day moved on to a reception at a local pub.

All of that was photographed — the private burial, the service, the walk back to the meadow, the flowers, the pub. The pictures were shared with the family afterwards. What they show is how natural the day was: a small goodbye first, then a larger celebration of the life he lived.

Talking It Through

If one person wants photography and another does not, have that conversation before the day. I have photographed funerals before where it has been agreed that one of the family members was left out of the pictures and not captured. I am always happy to accommodate your instructions and work around your ideas.

If you want to see the work first, use the portfolio.

Funeral photography starts from £750.

Call or text 07772 509101, or use the contact page.